Best One Yet Bagels

In my career as a bagelateer, I've concocted many a flavored bagel. Rye, 12 grain, whole wheat, cinnamon, blueberry, plain, spelt, the list goes on. But today I've decided to share my beloved.

This one is made up of 12 grain and unbleached all purpose flour mostly. I reallllllly like plain bagels but I feel too guilty eating them, so I added a tad of substance. Who am I kidding, they're way better than those plain Janes.

SO, the recipe is as follows:

1 cup warm water

2 1/4 cups unbleached all purpose flour

3/4 cup 12 grain flour

2 tbsp ground flax seeds

1 1/2 tbsp sugar

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp yeast

Procedure:

1. Pour 1 cup warm water into a large bowl, along with the sugar, and yeast. Let the yeast rise for about 10 minutes. Until it's foaming.

2. Add flours, flax, and salt mixing them together with a fork until it's time to knead.

3. Knead the dough for 7 minutes. Place it in an oiled bowl, cover, and leave to rise for 20 minutes. Until doubled in girth.

4. Remove the dough from it's incubator, and knead it a little bit, like twice, then cut it into 4-6 pieces. I like large and in charge bagels, so I just cut 4.

5. Roll them into ropes, and tie the ends together by wetting them and squishing them till they stick together.

6. Place these onto a cookie sheet covered with the saran, or something similar, and let them relax for 15 minutes. 

7. It's time to boil out the sin. Place a medium-large sized pot on the boil, with a teaspoon or so of sugar. 

8. Allow the bagels to bathe for about a minute. 30 seconds on either side. I prefer to then place them on a drying rack so the water droplets don't wet the pan. 

9. NOW we shall burn proof the asses of the bagel. Use corn meal to dip the bottoms in.

10. With your middle finger apply some virginal olive oil upon the tops. Use desired topping to now dress your bagel. EX. Poppy seeds, sesame seeds, peanuts, icing, candy, popcorn, chocolate bars, what ever. 

10. Place bagels on greased cookie sheet.

11. Bake them in an oven set to 500F until they are done. Which usually is from 8-12 minutes. 

It's 4 am now, one of my room mates is cleaning the house and drinking wine, the other one is doing his arts n' crafts, and one of them is smoking cigarettes. I'm feeling a little nutty, sitting here listening to Sam Cooke. My favorite Black Flag song is Now She's Black. GOOD NIGHT.